


'cause there's something between us anyway

by neconifus



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Compliant, Confessions, Internal Conflict, M/M, Mutual Pining, Surprise Kissing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:54:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25126564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neconifus/pseuds/neconifus
Summary: Jun teaching Sho how to kiss, and Sho ends up kissing Jun really quick, nervously asks ‘Like that?’ and leaves Jun silent and flustered for a moment.
Relationships: Matsumoto Jun/Sakurai Sho
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	'cause there's something between us anyway

**Author's Note:**

> Plot is from [Prompt Generator.](https://prompts.neocities.org)  
> Title is from [Something About Us](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CCNswShJRc) (I love the Pomplamoose cover.)
> 
> Warning: unbeta-ed. Expect a lot of grammar errors.  
> Also, please note that there are times when it's canon and there are times when it's not. Just thought that I should give a heads up, haha. (Check the tags!)

It’s the usual day of Shiyagare filming, with all five of them in the green room, sitting on their predesignated chairs, waiting for to the staff to fetch their costumes.

But then, Sho’s phone rings.

After checking the caller ID, Sho answers the phone calmly. “Hello, this is Sakurai speaking. Yes. Yes. Eh, really? Thank you very much! I’ll see you soon!”

The air went still when the four set of eyes stares at Sho curiously, but doesn’t say anything to respect Sho’s privacy.

Knowing that everyone put their attention to him, Sho meets their eyes, putting his smug face mode. “I’m going to talk to my manager for a second.” He gets up from his chair.

As Sho exits the room, Ohno stares at the door, abandoning the noise from the fishing documentary he watches on his phone. “Did he won a lottery or something?” he wonders.

“Who knows?” says Aiba, shrugging his shoulders. “But I don’t think he would buy a lottery ticket. He’s not Nino.” He snickers.

Nino throws Aiba a dirty look. “Maybe he got offered about something? News coverage? Or,” Nino pauses, trying to be dramatic. “Another nude issue with _AnAn_?”

Jun, as he tries to hide his own curiosity, clears his throat and says, “Let’s just wait until Sho-kun is back, guys.”

When Sho comes back a few minutes later, the smug expression he had earlier has gone. As soon as he sit on his chair, he produces his phone from his pocket, typing furiously.

Noticing something feels weird, Aiba moves to sit next to Sho, bumping his shoulder. “Hey Sho-chan, what happened?”

“I got a role... for a drama.” Sho says, still staring at his phone.

Nino raises his eyebrows. “What kind of drama?”

“A romance drama.”

“Wow! Congratulations!” comes the collective responses from the others.

“Thanks... I guess.” Sho replies, weakly.

“ _You guess_?” Aiba repeats, looking incredulous. “You looked so happy about it before!”

“The producer didn’t say that it’s going to be an _adult_ romance drama!” Sho says, clearly looking nervous. “They haven’t said anything about who am I going against with...”

Nino snorts. “You’re talking as if you’re filming an action movie!”

“It is! There will be some _actions_ , if you catch my drift,” Sho’s face turns almost white. “I need to hit the gym _real_ soon...”

“What are you so afraid of? Here,” Nino stares at Jun with twinkle in his eyes. “We have our own expert, remember?”

“Come to think of it, I consulted to him once about my role in _Sekamuzu_ ,” Ohno comments, rubbing his chin. “Maybe you should ask Matsujun about it, too.”

Before Jun could protest, the staff knock on the door, “Arashi-san! We’re ready!”

\--

Aiba waves his hand, “See you tomorrow, Matsujun!”

Jun waves back, while talking on the phone with his manager.

“Yes, just park in there. No need to wait for me. Thanks.” And hung up.

Jun notices that Nino and Ohno had went home too, which left him with Sho, who is still in a meeting with his manager in another room.

As Jun gathers his stuff, the door opens. “Ah, Matsujun? You’re alone?”

Jun nods, hoisting his bag to his shoulder and walks past Sho. “Good work today, Sho-san. See you tomorrow.”

“W-wait a second, Matsumoto-kun!” Sho reaches out, pulling Jun’s bag. The sudden tug makes Jun to turn his head, looking at how Sho grips the hem of his bag so firmly.

“What’s wrong?”

Sho cocks his head to the sitting area, not answering. “Can we sit down first?”

Eyeing Sho warily, he follows the other man to the chairs, putting his bag on the desk between them. Is it about the concert preparation or something else? Despite not having a clue of what’s going to happen, he decides to humor Sho on whatever he’s going to ask.

He can’t deny it, though, that he had a bad feeling about this.

“I’ve been thinking about what Satoshi-kun talked about,” Sho pauses, fingertips rubbing the collar of his shirt. “About you tutoring him.”

Jun’s eyes widen in surprise. Sho, of all _people_. “You actually believe what Leader said earlier? About me giving him advice and shit?”

“I-I think it’s worth the try,” Sho stammers. “Besides, you _do_ have a lot of experiences compared from the rest of us...”

Jun pretends like he didn’t hear what Sho said about him. It’s not like Sho is a virgin in his late thirties, anyway. “I’m sorry, but I can’t see why you should be this worried about acting in a romance drama. Just do it the way you usually do to your partner, Sho-san.” He suggests.

Sho looks away. “We broke up.”

Jun feels like shit. “Oh.” He silently curses himself for not keeping up with the others’ relationship status, particularly Sho's. _Wait, why do I feel relieved?_

Sho waves his hand dismissively. “Anyway, that’s not the point. What I wanted to ask you is--” Sho halts, his face turning crimson. “Ugh! This is embarrassing…” he covers his face.

Seeing Sho acting so tense really confuses him, and it starting to make Jun feel impatient. “What?”

When Sho speaks, his voice is muffled behind his hands. “There’s a difference between kissing someone off camera and on camera,” Uncovering his face, he swiftly clasps his hands and bows at Jun. “Please show me how to do a proper kissing scene!”

“ _Show you_?” Jun repeats, narrowing his eyes at Sho. He could feel his insides churning because Sho is the least member, no, the least _person_ he wishes to talk about this. “Hell _no_.”

Sho jerks his head, clearly didn’t expect the rejection. “I beg you! Please! I don’t want to be make fun of!” Sho pleads, his confidence crumbles. “You know how awkward I am, right?”

“Haven’t you done kissing scenes before?” Jun folds his arms, staring at Sho in disbelief. “Like, in _Kisarazu Cat’s Eyes_? _Tokujo Kabachi_? _Yatterman_? That theater play you did? What was it again…” he tries to recall, naming some of Sho’s past works to make a point. It's not like he remembers all of Sho's works, anyway!

“ _Beautiful Game_ ,” Sho hurriedly answers. “I know that, but that was many years ago... And the rest were like, a peck, not an actual face-eating kisses...”

“What, you’re going to _eat_ your co-star’s face?!” he teases Sho between his laugh. This conversation is getting ridiculous, but Jun couldn’t help to not feel amused upon seeing Sho in such a distressed state. He might as well have a little fun with it.

Sho covers his face again. “I’ve told you, that’s not _it!_ ” he groans.

“Okay, okay!” Jun gives up. “You just have to... you know. Stand in front of a mirror? Kiss your own hands while posing? Those simple tricks really works, you know.” Jun starts, hands moving awkwardly to emphasize his point.

Sho tilts his head, frowning. “Okay, but how do you do it normally?” He ponders. “I want to do it naturally. Like I was _really_ in love or something.”

As someone who prefers to be practical, he rubs the tip of his nose, thinking on how should he explains it to Sho. While it was true that he gave Ohno advice, it wasn’t something _this_ serious. When the news about the drama broke out, Ohno just texted him “What to do (thinking emoji)”, which Jun replied with “Just kiss her (lol)”.

Sho, on the other hand, looks at Jun like his life depends on him.

Somehow, talking about kissing _with_ Sho doesn’t sit right with him, as if something poke his sides but he can’t swatted it away to make it stop. But Sho's exasperation starting to make him feel bad to the other man. So Jun stands up, gesturing Sho to follow him. They moves to a clear space so Sho can stand in front of Jun.

Jun lets out a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose to mentally prepare himself. Knowing how stubborn Sho can be, he should just get this over and done with.

“Okay,” he says. “Just imagine that you _actually_ love your co-star really, _really_ much. Notice the every little details of her, and pretend that you love her for that. That way, you wouldn’t even notice the camera rolling and the staff around you.”

Sho nods eagerly, his eyebrows knitted in concentration. “Okay. And then?”

“Try to close your eyes, and imagine that she was in front of you, begging to be kissed.” Jun closes his eyes. “Like this.”

Jun could feel that Sho is moving closer to him, which is weird, but he let it pass him. “Okay, and then?”

“Move forward while moving your hands towards her, and then—“

As Jun moves, he feels a pair of warm, plump lips meet with his in the middle. It shocks Jun to the core, and when he opens his eyes, he sees Sho in front of him, looking shy.

Sho’s round, brown eyes are at him when he says, “Like that?”

And just like that, he feels like he’s 14 again.

He thought that he’s been good at burying his childhood crush towards Sho. Telling himself that it’s impossible because they are bandmates, because they are both _guys_. But apparently, years of hiding his feelings has been undone with a simple peck on the lips.

The tiny voices inside Jun’s head doesn’t help to ease the hammering heart in his chest, and the _whole flying bugs_ inside his stomach to go away.

_How many years has it been? How many years has it been, wishing for those teeth to come and bite you, when being kissed by Sho is way better, Jun?_

“Matsujun? Oi,” He hears Sho’s voice as if from miles away. “Jun?”

Jun almost lost his balance when he comes back to his senses. He hates how flustered he feels right now. His hand clumsily runs through his hair, trying to regain his composure.

“Oh. Yeah. Like that,” He could feel the heat slowly creeping up to his face _._ He doesn’t dare to look at Sho. “Now if you excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” He collects his bag, trying not to run.

Jun doesn’t miss the bewildered look on Sho’s face, probably confused with how Jun acts. “Wait, Matsumoto-kun--!” his voice cut abruptly as Jun closes the door.

\--

He’s been avoiding Sho for the past few weeks.

Whenever he senses that Sho tries to talk to him, or to stand near him, Jun would be making excuses or trying to switch places with another member. Sho probably takes the cue because he never confronts Jun about it. While it’s not the first time he acts strange whenever he’s near Sho, he guesses he’s being way too obvious about it, because the others starts to show their confusion.

It’s the day of their magazine photoshoot when someone ask Jun about his recent behavior towards Sho. Jun is sitting on the chair behind the cameras to watch the other three, waiting for his and Nino’s turns. He sees Aiba cracks a joke with the props which makes Ohno giggles, and Sho laughs in his usual boisterous way.

He sometimes wishes Sho was still like who he was on their teenagers days, back to when he showed his indifference to Jun's feelings. It made Jun easier to hate him, to make him realized that Sho wasn’t worth his time, and start to focus on other things, on other people. But as they grew older, Jun has learned to forget about it, and somehow Sho has started to give him some respect.

His eyes slowly moves up to Sho’s lips. He still couldn’t forget the chaste kiss they shared, how warm Sho’s lips on him.

Ugh. Why can’t he avoid Sho _mentally_ the way he avoids Sho _physically_?

Almost lost on his thoughts, Jun shakes his head when he sees Nino walking towards him from the green room. The chair made a scraping sound as Nino plops down next to him.

“Jun-pon,” he whispers.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t mean to pry, but, did you develop some kind of allergic reaction?” Nino keeps his tone light, “Or did something happened between you and Sho-chan?” While he sounds amused, Jun could tell that this is Nino's way to show his concerns.

Jun freezes, unsure of what to say. He knows that this conversation with Nino is bound to happen. Trying to act nonchalant, he pull out his phone from his pocket.

“What are you talking about? Of course not.” He denies, scrolling down on his Instagram feed. He hopes Nino can’t tell that he’s lying.

But of course Nino can read him like an open book. “Ah, I see.” He says, dropping the subject.

Nino’s words ringing in his mind as he excuses himself, going to the toilet to freshen up. He hates that the other members started to worry about him.

He tries to not ruin his makeup, splashing some waters to his face. He placed either of his hands on the wash basin, his palm gripping the cold surface.

His reflection shows determination on his face.

He needs to get his shit together.

\--

On the third week since Sho kissed him, he could no longer hide the fact that something _is_ up between him and Sho from the rest of the members.

It’s the filming day of VSA when Sho’s drama team came as guests, clad in their green colored shirts with the drama’s name printed on it. Filming went well, until they come to the last game for today’s episode.

“So, Sakurai-kun,” the heaven voice for today, Ito-san, begins his usual talk before the start of the game. “I heard that this drama would be your first romantic comedy drama, is it true?”

Sho, who is standing alone on the far left stage of _Kicking Sniper_ , instinctively stares at the camera. “You are correct, Ito-san.” Sho answers with his shit eating grin. Jun muses at how confident Sho looks like.

In front of him, Jun sees that Nino points at Ohno with smirks on his face. “Ohno-san, please do the honor.”

“Would there be any _kissing_ scene?” Ohno asks, pretending to be curious.

Sho, still grinning, answers, “Damn _right_ there is a kissing scene!” which cue the audience laughter.

After the hype piped down, Aiba looks at Sho, his eyes crinkling. “The funny thing is, actually, this guy was really freaking out when he got the offer!”

Sho pretends to gasps, giving Aiba the death glare. “Aiba-kun, you idiot! Don’t bring that up. You’re ruining my image!” he retorts, but his tone is filled with humor. Aiba giggles as the studio roared with laughter again.

“Is that true, Sakurai-san?” Sho’s love interest in the drama asks politely, her hand covering her mouth.

At that, Sho falters, impulsively scratches the back of his head. “Uhh, yeah... But then I got help from someone,” Sho pauses, his eyes flickering at Jun. Jun almost forgot to breathe. “So everything will be fine!”

It cues yet another reaction from the audience, but all Jun could hear is nothing. He knows that his band mates wouldn’t miss what Sho said, so he pretends to play along, smiling at the opponent team’s direction but not looking back at Sho.

Aiba and Nino look at each other for a millisecond, “From _someone_ …?” they asks in unison, while Ohno just chuckles in the background. Jun could feel that Ohno has his eyes on him, though.

Jun needs to thank Ito-san because as Sho tries to answer, he announces, “Okay then, let’s start the game!”

\--

A week has passed by since the VSA filming. And it’s been a month since he kissed Sho.

Even though they are still not in talking terms, he’s been trying to response Sho on their LINE group chats (with stickers and emojis. He got loads of them). And when Sho has to be near him, he tries to be civil, keeping a gap between them instead of running away. Soon everything would go back to normal, back to where he could manage to hide his crush at Sho, again.

What Jun didn't know is that _soon_ means tonight.

Jun is laying down on his bed when his phone rings. The caller is so unexpected that Jun had to double-check his phone screen. He’s supposed to be at the shooting location. Why is he calling Jun so late?

“Sho-kun?” Jun says, in lieu of greeting.

“Matsuyun…” came Sho’s deep voice from the other line.

A bit alarmed, Jun straights up to sit on his bed. “Are you drunk?”

“Maybe? I had a few drinks with the others earlier...”

“I see…” Jun responds, not sure what to say.

Sho doesn’t say anything in return. The sound of a car’s engine humming fills the silence. Sho is probably on his way to his apartment, riding a taxi.

The clock near his bed beeps twice, indicating that it’s 2 AM. “Anyway, why are you calling me? Want another advice?” Jun tries to play it cool. The awkward silence is making Jun nervous.

“Do you like me?” Sho blurts out.

“—What?” That took Jun’s guard. “What’s gotten into you?”

But Sho is being persistent. “Just answer me. _Is it love? Or like?_ ”

The sudden question rendered him speechless. He hates how the nostalgic feelings hits him in the face like a truck. He decides to deny it the way he handled it before. “I’ve told you there is no love—“

“Then why do you _still_ avoids me?” Sho cuts him, running out of patience. He could hear the sound of a car door being opened, and Sho briskly saying ‘thank you’ to whoever that is. “Do you think I wouldn’t notice?”

“You’re clearly way too drunk too—“ He hears a familiar _ding_ from the other line. “Hang on. Where are _you_?”

His buzzer goes off, and Jun almost trips on his way to the _genkan_. When he opens the door, he squints at the sight of Sho, eyes adjusting to the bright corridor. Despite his blurry vision, he could tell that Sho is still holding his phone to his ear.

“In front of your unit’s door.” Sho speaks to the phone, and then ends the call.

“What were you _thinking_?” Jun hisses, keeping his voice low. He instinctively blocking the door entrance with his arm. “How could you get up here? I don’t remember giving you my spare key!”

“The security and the receptionist downstairs gave me the access to the elevator when they saw my face. Sorry.” Sho shrugs, his face showing no sense of guilt. “May I come in?”

Seeing that Jun doesn’t budge, Sho takes a step forward. “Please. I won’t be long.” His voice calm.

Thinking that he got no other options, Jun wordlessly let go of the door, placing the guest slipper for Sho to change into, and leads him to his living room.

“Sorry it’s a bit dark. I wasn’t expecting any guests.” He says when they got to his living room, couldn’t help getting cranky. Serves Sho right. Jun was about to sleep, after all. “Let me grab my glasses for a sec.”

When Jun comes back to the living room, Sho still doesn’t say anything, but he could see that Sho’s coat and bag are neatly placed on the side of the chair. Jun opts to sit on his sofa, facing Sho sideways.

Jun folds his arms. “So.”

“So,” Sho repeats, folding his arms as well. “You haven’t answered my questions.”

Jun weighs his options, unsure of what he should do. He knows that there is no escape from this now. But he decides to be stubborn.

“What’s there to say?” Jun says defensively, the words felt like venom. “I’ve told you before, didn’t I?”

But Sho is having none of it. “Bullshit,” he spits. “I’ve had enough of this. I know that you’ve been weird ever since I asked you about the kissing techniques. I thought you were mad at me for invading your personal space. But the more I think about it, it feels like you’re avoiding me the way you used to when we were younger. And I know that I fucked up big time when I talked about getting advice about kissing on that VSA shooting. You didn’t even look at me,” he pauses, searching for Jun’s eyes. “Like you are now.”

“I know that I wasn’t nice to you back then, and I am not asking you for any mercy. There was too much going on and I can’t lose our friendship, the thing that we had, even though in the end I lost it anyway. When you drifted apart from me, I thought it was for the best. I couldn’t lie, though, that it made me feel empty at times.”

Jun looks away, feeling the clench on his chest when he remembered how rude Sho was with him.

“I know that I ask you to forgive me for what I did the other day, but let me tell you that kissing you, however brief that was, made me realized of what I’ve lost. What I would have had if I was more level-headed with you. Now please, tell me that I’m wrong, that you’re mad at me _only_ because I kissed you without asking you first. If that’s the case, then I’ll go home now.”

Sho ends his speech with grabbing his stuff slowly, holding it on his lap. His neck is red, probably because he’s drunk or from talking too much.

His face looks uncharacteristically calm, waiting for Jun to answer.

Jun hugs his legs, feeling like his world is spinning.

He’s been waiting for those words to come out of Sho, and it makes him tremble. If he were younger, he would jump at Sho and buries his face to his neck. But they’re nearing 40, and it’s 2 in the morning. Having no more energy left, he adjusts his glasses, trying to keep calm.

“Then I think you should’ve known your answer,” He couldn’t keep his voice from shaking, the feelings he’s been burying for more than fifteen years resurfaces. “You’ve gotten this far, so I think you’ve already known that it’s not because you kissed me without my consent.”

Sho looks completely baffled, couldn’t believe his ears. “After all this time? After all what I’ve done to you?”

“I think you’ll remember when I said that I can’t keeping on having unrequited love for too many years,” Jun sniffs, remembering the past relationships he and Sho had to go through before realizing that the both of them are stupid. “But yeah. Despite all the things you’ve done to me.”

Waves of guilt washed over Sho, making him look more tired. “I’m sorry…”

Jun lets out a pity laugh. “It was all in the past.”

“Do you think we could start over?” Sho asks, looking hopeful. And it startles Jun.

He never thought that this time would come, and he’s not sure of what he should do. “I honestly don’t know. There are way too many things to worry about.” Such as being in the same group, but Jun keeps that thought on the back of his head. “Maybe we could start thing slowly?”

Sho nods. “Okay.”

Suddenly Sho rises from his seat, taking the empty spot on the sofa besides Jun. He wipes his palms on his thighs, looking anxious.

“Can I kiss you?” he finally asks.

Jun nods, and he closes his eyes as Sho surges forward. Even though Sho’s nose bumps clumsily to the frame of his glasses (he carefully removes them for being in the way), and his mouth tastes a bit like alcohol, Jun doesn’t mind. Their second kiss lasts for a while, as their lips slowly parted to explore each other mouths, and it feels wonderful.

“We totally have to take things slowly,” Sho says when they’re trying to catch their breaths. “I’m still a little bit drunk, actually…”

Jun couldn’t help but to giggle at that. Seeing Sho this close, he cups the side of Sho’s face, not needing his glasses to guides his hand. “You know what. Years ago, you vowed that you would kill me because of my unusual timing of calling you.” He teasingly glides his hand down to Sho’s chest, resting on his abdomen. “Oh, how the tables have turned.”

The lust on Sho’s face probably mirrors Jun’s, and his breath tickles Jun's face when he says, “Oh, what an asshole.”

And as Jun climbs on top of Sho, they continue to kiss, again and again, wanting to make up to the time that they have lost.

**Author's Note:**

> I planned this to be a 500 words drabble, but somehow it turned into this mess. If I knew that I would be too invested to this plot, I would've change it to AU (well, I could, but I got lazy. LOL)  
> Tell me if you caught some RL references, though! ;D
> 
> Ah, I almost posted this fic on the same time with the SJ story. XD


End file.
